The Big 4 Attitudes of Emotional Resiliency
I am sure we can all recall difficulties, setbacks, and at least one life ambush. I know I can remember at least one instance in each of these three categories without too much effort.
Can you recall how you responded to your struggles? Did you react with anger, despair, outrage, cursing the universe and everyone that crossed your path? Was your return to “normal” slow and draining?
Guilty!
If your response was less than optimal, you are not alone; give yourself a break, you’re human. Often our reactions can be overblown, cause us embarrassment, regret, and keep us stuck in the dumps, hosting a pity party.
Don’t despair; there is hope! The good news is that you were born with a degree of emotional resilience, and you can develop this trait into a strong, readily available response the next time you encounter a setback.
Before we delve into the Big 4, let’s lay some groundwork.
Emotional Resiliency
The ability to quickly recover from or adjust easily and with grace to adversity or change, emotional resilience is a quality that enables us to bounce back quickly when we experience a setback, difficulty, or life ambush. It is our never-quit spirit.
What is attitude?
For our purposes, we will draw upon Webster’s definition:
- a: a mental position concerning a fact or state
- a helpful attitude
- b: a feeling or emotion toward a fact or state
- a negative attitude or an optimistic attitude
- a negative attitude or an optimistic attitude
Both definitions will assist us as we explore the Big 4 Attitudes of Emotional Resiliency, as our mental and emotional states are intertwined.
The Big 4:
1. Self-esteem
Self-esteem is how you view yourself, your subjective sense of worth, not only to yourself but how you view your value to and by others. Self-esteem may also be defined as your level of self-appreciation regardless of your circumstances, your attitude toward yourself.
Low self-esteem can have many causes: growing up in a dysfunctional family, not having a voice within your various circles of engagement, experiencing verbal or physical abuse, to name a few.
How do you view yourself? Do you have compassion and acceptance for yourself? Do you hold onto shame, guilt, and regret, often putting yourself down?
2. Optimism
Optimism is an attitude of seeing the good in life rather than the bad, believing that within adversity lies opportunity, setbacks are temporary, and better days are ahead.
An optimist sees opportunity instead of roadblocks.
Optimism is not, however, wishful thinking or engaging in fantasy.
Do you see the world as a place of opportunity, where your potential is limitless? Do you see barriers and reasons why you can’t achieve big dreams?
3. Other Focused
Focusing our attention and actions on helping others with little to no regard for the benefit to ourselves. Taking your eyes off your needs and turning your focus toward another person’s needs in the act of selfless service.
When we compassionately assist and elevate others, we often reap the unintended reward of raising our sense of value and self-worth.
When was the last time you did something for someone else with no expectation of reciprocation? How did that make you feel?
4. Self-Control
The ability to manage your impulses, desires, emotions, and behaviors in the face of temptation toward achieving a long-term goal or desired outcome. The capacity to keep your cool in the face of challenge. It becomes easier to exercise self-control when you know your purpose, when you have a solid and positive ‘why’ for resisting your impulses.
Synonyms for self-control include fortitude, grit, willpower, discipline, determination.
Have you ever pushed yourself beyond your own expectation? Have you said no to temptation and have relief and gratitude hours or days later because you held strong?
Self-mastery and The Big 4 Attitudes
My purpose as an Unbeatable Mind practitioner is to master myself to be of service to others. There is little benefit in mastering oneself not to share these beautiful gifts.
There is great joy and adventure to be had on this journey as there is no final destination, no endpoint.
The journey of self-mastery includes mastering the Big 4 attitudes of emotional resilience. A significant aspect of resiliency is not to allow your emotions to gain control over you. Developing resiliency takes courage and a solid connection to your life’s purpose or mission.
As an Unbeatable Mind coach, I support my client’s journey by helping them uncover their purpose and develop it into an actionable mission. I also guide them in developing emotional resilience with powerful tools, practices, and challenges.
Great content! Keep up the good work!
Thank you, Green Angel! We appreciate your comments.